We Can and Do Recover

🦅 Greetings, dear ones. 🌎 I would like to share a joy and experience with you.

Some may say this sounds like a mystical or supernatural experience. I assure you it is not, but rather a very natural experience.

I've always believed in the mystical and supernatural. Something inside me spoke of a deeper connectedness. Every story of Merlin I ever heard made me feel so deeply connected, that in some way, I felt I was him and he was me.

That said, I still felt some separation, as if I was merely the dreamer and not the magician.

That was until one day, a bit more than four years ago. I had lived a life of deep confusion up to this point, suffering from identity issues, feelings of lack, and living a life that had very little life in it. My soul lamp's wick was very, very dim. I was deep in active addiction and an I.V. drug user at this point, weighing next to nothing with the skin of a leper. My eyes were sunken, and my body revealed my skeleton as if my skeleton suggested the desire to be set free beyond the skin and sleep in the Earth. I was so very tired.

On the day my life shifted and I truly decided to recover, I felt a surge of the dreamer. And this dreamer was imbued with the energy of the magician. I felt potential and that more experiences were actually possible. I felt recovery was possible.

I threw myself into recovery. I allowed myself to be as spiritual as I needed to be and never allowed others' fears to become my limits. My recovery was unlike most around me. I've never felt like most around me, so that felt natural to me. Yes, it made me feel sad and separated from the love of others, being so different. That said, I continued and felt the guidance, protection, and vigilance of the magician driving me forward.

Through each challenge, each unpleasantness, and every sadness, I discovered surrender and the true meaning of surrender, at least for me.

I used to think and experience surrender as giving it to God—all my burdens and all the things I couldn't control beyond me. Today, my understanding of surrender is very different.

Since I first started my recovery journey, I surrendered like many and all. Perhaps I did, but looking back, I didn't. For what surrender meant to me was to go within myself, allow my breath to connect to my spirit, and let the body do what the body wanted or needed to do. Every day, I would center myself, meditate, and allow.

Thoughts came and went, emotions came intensely and went. And as they did, as I allowed, my thoughts improved. The dreamer was truly becoming the magician, though I didn't fully understand it at the time.

Everything my surrender was showing me was to let go. Truly let go. Beyond even the sense of self or my identity. The more I allowed, the more I felt, sensed, and knew in profound ways—mystical and supernatural ways.

The true nature of reality is that we are not what we think we are. We are all things at once. The ancient mystics knew this, and I was not only learning this but rather remembering this as I dissolved into a more cohesive being within the universe—the witness within all things, as all things.

So, where are you going with this, you might wonder? Where is the joy? I merely shared my past to create potential and inspire others.

You see, dear ones, I used to own a home. In active addiction, with many coming and going, things often were stolen, and I had very little within me to pay attention, let alone care.

Years ago, while still in active addiction, I found myself out west on the Wind River Indian Reservation. I always loved the culture, peoples, and connections I felt. I was at a cultural center when I noticed replica artifacts, such as these Navajo arrows below. I felt so called to them and purchased them. Not a bow, hatchet, spear, nor war club. Simply three arrows.

I felt called and purchased what resonated with me. The feather fletching was as seen below: two black, one mostly white.

Why three? Why these colors? Why no bow? Why no quiver?

Today, I see the deeper connections as the witness within the experience and all experiences.

You see, dear ones, I thought these were stolen, gone from my orbit for the rest of my days. However, this was not the case!

Last week, I found myself in a moment of surrender, where I was just being and observing. Not listening, but rather noticing. This often happens spontaneously and sometimes intentionally when I choose.

I had a thought about the arrows again. It had been years since I thought of them. I felt a bit sad as I truly felt connected to them. I felt significance within them.

A couple of days passed, and I found myself in the garage when I happened to notice a quiver of arrows hanging in cobwebs there on the wall. I took it down, and there they were!

My arrows! The ones my former self purchased in active addiction! They were not stolen. They were always there, just like the knowing is always there and purposeful in design!

As I saw them again, I instantly felt and understood deeper connections, reasons, and purpose!

The first thing I noticed were the colors of fletching: two black, one white. Neutrality and duality all represented within the sacred colors! The duality and black feathers of the two arrows create resistance in me that keeps me from feeling, sensing, and knowing the witness and all that is!

Three arrows representing mind, body, spirit. Three arrows that represent sublimation and the witness in the in-between. The bridge of consciousness that connects without a middle step.

For those not familiar with sublimation, sublimation is described as the transition of a substance directly from the solid to a gas state, without passing through the liquid state.

When Jeremy wasn't Jeremy and observed, my consciousness spontaneously transformed and connected into the web of creation! Future knowing occurred, only I hadn't realized it at the moment!

Supernatural? No. Very natural when we get past ourselves, dear ones!

Let me say it this way: there are no coincidences, only connections! That's how consciousness, our physical and non-physical realities are experienced! All connected, at all times! In each moment we're in! All here, all now, and with no coincidence.

So, why the arrows? The magician in me knows I am a bit challenged in my life currently. The arrows were quivered when I found them again, but not when I purchased them. When I purchased them, my active addiction was running my life, but I did wish to live in peace. The arrows out represent the need to defend or attack, and yet no bow.

I own bows, and yet they were not with the arrows. Further confirmation that my heart is truly not to fight nor needs to defend, though my mind may think so at times.

These connections become symbolic and clear to me. This is the witness who knows. And the magician is an alchemist and will help me transform if I embody the awareness.

There is no bow because I needed there to be no bow. No need to protect. No need to defend nor attack. The arrows out of the quiver mean I'm uncomfortable and identified within duality, just as it was when I bought them and when I was in active addiction.

So, I share this truly magical joy with you all in hopes it may inspire you or bring you hope. Be yourself and may your spiritual practice be authentic and help you realize deeper connections!

This is all love. And only our minds and duality make it feel that it, and our experiences, aren't.

We are truly one in the web of creation. All others, things, the seen and unseen are you, and you it. I pray you all come to know this.

With infinite blessings of health, wellness, and abundance to you all,

Jeremy Joseph Doemel

Namaste 🙏